Lee Shadbolt

#WHYIRED

I’ve been aware of REDJanuary for several years. The founder and CEO attended the same school as me growing up and I’ve watched the organization grow through her social media. I always thought it was a great idea but that was as far as it went.

At the end of January 2022, I received a phone call from my friend in New Zealand. I immediately knew something was wrong as we only ever speak through WhatsApp messaging or video calls. A mutual friend of ours had died by suicide.

I had not spoken to this friend for several years, we gradually lost touch after I moved to away. But he was a friend. We went to nursery, primary and secondary school together, played football, travelled, etc.… you get the gist, we were close. He was a big part of my life for a long time and the news of his passing and the way he passed, absolutely floored me. I had no idea he was in such a dark place and the guilt of not being there for him in any capacity, consumed me.

I knew January 2023 would trigger me, I knew it would have implications on my mental health, my work, study and most importantly my family. In the aftermath of the events of last January, I was not present. I was physically present, but I had nothing else but my physical presence to give. I was aware of this, I could see it, but I couldn’t do anything to change it. I could see how it was affecting my wife and my son. I could see the sadness in their eyes, and I couldn’t allow it to continue.

I started seeing a counsellor and with her help, I developed the tools and strategies I needed to help me get back to a place where I could focus my energy where it was needed most. My wife and son are the most important thing in the world, and I needed to do whatever it takes to be the person they need me to be and the person they deserve.

My intention was never to raise money through REDJanuary. My original motivation was simply to take part in the memory of my friend, but I was still focusing on the negative. Instead, I decided to channel my efforts in a more positive way and look forward by using what is important to me as motivation. That is why I am raising money (and hopefully a little awareness) for mental health charities. I’m currently the number one individual fundraiser in the world right now, it’s a UK initiative but I prefer my interpretation. I’m so grateful for all the support and donations I’ve received so far and would love for it to continue.

I’ve also personally pledged to donate 10% of all money raised through REDJanuary for Sport in Mind to The Samaritans and Survivors of Bereavement by suicide (SOBS). Some of you may be aware of the amazing work the Samaritans do but the SOBS are a fantastic organization who have provided my friend’s family with much-needed support and advice through a very difficult time and would massively benefit from any contribution.